


i'm just your ghost (you can have us both)

by growlery writes (growlery)



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, COUNTER/Weight - Freeform, F/F, Open Relationships, Post-Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 06:28:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17278805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/growlery/pseuds/growlery%20writes
Summary: Life goes on, after Rigour. The worlds keep spinning, no matter what, and Jill’s still got plenty to do.





	i'm just your ghost (you can have us both)

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: _Come, let me kiss you right there wake you up like sunrise_ from [femslashficlet's janelle monae lyrics prompt table](https://femslashficlets.dreamwidth.org/223971.html)
> 
> title from strangers by empires

Life goes on, after Rigour. The worlds keep spinning, no matter what, and Jill’s still got plenty to do. There’s Augustus’s faction, no closer to an accord despite surviving the apocalypse. Strenthening the fleet without them, fighting for their place in this changed world. Diplomats. So many fucking diplomats. 

She has to go drinking with Junior to keep her head straight; she has to go flying with Diego to remind her why it all matters. 

And, when she's on COUNTER/Weight, hang out with Jacqui. 

It’s not as weird as she thought it would be, once. Whoever Jill used to be, however Jacqui felt about her, she seems to like this Jill fine enough. Jill likes her too; she wonders if she was always going to, if being drawn to Jacqui Green was an inevitability regardless of what history they have, or do not have. 

And then Jacqui kisses her. 

Jill’s had a long fucking day, and she wants to be _home_ , doing something real, not stuck on fucking COUNTER/weight bullshitting with the other factions to claw out some kind of power for Odamas. 

Jacqui doesn’t ask, when she arrives at Jill’s temporary residence. She taps them into a virtual club to dance it off, because it’s the least destructive thing she can do with her body right now, and Jacqui seems to know that’s what she needs. 

They get close, close enough that their bodies brush, their hands touch. It’s innocent. It should be innocent. Jacqui has Aria Joie, and Jill has years of lost memories and an ache of longing that feels like an echo. 

And then Jacqui kisses her. 

Jill saw her move, watched her step into Jill’s space and look at her with bright eyes. Jill had time to move. Jill didn’t move. 

Jill should have moved. Jacqui’s mouth is soft and tentative and so, so sweet, and that ache swells to something unbearable. Jill lasts a minute, maybe two, before she pushes Jacqui back. 

“I'm not her, Jacqui.” She wants to sound angry, is angry, but she just sounds tired. “I'm not the woman you loved.”

She doesn't look at Jacqui. She can't. 

“I know that,” Jacqui says quietly. She sounds tired, too. “I know. I still want. If you want.”

Jill looks up. Jacqui’s face is open, and Jill doesn't need years of lost memories to know that she means it. Jill was apprehensive, that first real meeting, but Jacqui’s been real good at treating her like a person and not a ghost. 

And of _course_ Jill wants. Blame it on muscle memory, her body remembering Jacqui even if her mind doesn't, whatever. It's still true. 

“Jacqui,” she says, then closes the distance between them. 

Jacqui’s mouth is soft. She makes a high noise when Jill bites gently at her lip, lets her inside. Jacqui has a hand cupping Jill’s jaw, tilting her down to kiss, and her metal thumb is rubbing circles into Jill’s skin. It all feels so _familiar_ in a way Jill almost hates. 

She pulls Jacqui into her lap, grips her ass, drags nails down her thighs. Jacqui’s head falls back with a sigh that sends heat curling in Jill’s stomach. Jill moves her mouth to the juncture of neck and metal presented to her and just breathes for a moment. She hopes Jacqui isn't comparing her to- to the old Jill, to _Aria fucking Joie_ , but then Jacqui says, “You can bite, I- please, bite me, I like it,” and Jill decides she doesn't care. 

Jill slips two fingers inside Jacqui, and this isn’t new, she’s done this countless times before, but it’s never felt like this, like she might shake apart just as hard as Jacqui is underneath her. She holds it together through Jacqui’s first orgasm, then her second, only breaks when Jacqui grabs Jill by the thighs with her big, strong arms and crushes Jill to her face. Jacqui has an unfair advantage; she knows just how to make Jill feel good, and any lingering weirdness Jill feels about that is lost under the waves of pleasure rippling through her body. 

She collapses half on top of Jacqui, and hears Jacqui laugh softly, feels Jacqui tug on her shoulders to pull her the rest of the way over. Jill breathes out, long and heavy, into Jacqui’s neck. The weirdness is catching up, chasing away her afterglow. Jill doesn’t know what comes next, what Jacqui meant when she said she wanted Jill, but Jacqui hasn’t moved except to run her hands down Jill’s back, over and over, and Jill-

Maybe it was inevitable, that she’d feel this way. She doesn’t hate the thought of it as much as she thought she would. 

Jill pushes herself up on her elbows, taking a deep breath as she looks down at Jacqui. Jacqui looks back at her, steady and sure. 

“I told Aria not to expect me back tonight,” Jacqui says, and her voice wavers just a little. “Is it- can I stay? I’d really, really like to stay.”

The ache swells, bursts. Whatever it leaves behind makes Jill smile helplessly. “Yeah. I’d like that too.”

*

Jacqui’s still there in the morning, wrapped in Jill’s arms. She gets up when Jill does and kisses her goodbye at the door, the promise of _next time_ on her lips. 


End file.
